When the “junk” and the “hoo ha” need protection, there’s an app for that.
Two felicitously named ointments, DZnuts and Hoo Ha Ride Glide, are intended to be applied to a bicyclist’s nether regions to prevent chafing and saddle sores.
They were called to my attention by Kami Kitchen, a fellow rider in our cross-country bicycle trip last fall, after she read my Jan. 31 post, “Soothing the sores.”
“Cathy and I giggled and were tempted to purchase this brand when we were in a cycle shop in Beaumont, Texas, but since we already had a stockpile of gender-neutral lube we changed our minds,” Kami wrote. “But, it is on the list for the next ride. I can almost hear Al Pacino saying, ‘Hoo ha!’ from Scent of a Woman.”
Hoo Ha Ride Glide is marketed as the only anti-chafing skin and chamois cream “for women by women.” A Web page touting its appeal to women says: “The smell is very refreshing with hints of lavender, tea tree and peppermint that also provide added protection against unwanted infections.”
A Web site for DZnuts, whose slogan is “protect your junk,” says it was designed for American professional cyclist Dave Zabriskie “by a pharmaceutical scientist to reduce and relieve chafing, irritation, and protect fragile perineal skin from bacterial and fungal infections.”
It sounds like DZnuts is intended only for male cyclists. But Kami steered me to a woman’s blog, “Lovely Bicycle,” which suggests otherwise:
“One discovery I have made in my attempts to battle roadbike discomforts is a product called DZnuts,” the blogger wrote.
“This is a chamois cream that promises to ‘protect your junk’ from chafing, irritation and infections that can occur during long distance cycling on a roadbike. This stuff is sold in most bike shops, branded as a men’s product. So I present it here surrounded by lavender and a cup of herbal tea to indicate that it also works for ladies.”